Classy 'Mericans

I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.

The Classy ‘Mericans were founded on August 11, 1919 by Theodore Roosevelt. He solicited funds for uniforms from his employer, the Classic American Pipe Laying Corporation. He was given $500 for uniforms and equipment, on the condition that the team be named for its sponsor. Today, "Classy ‘Mericans" is the oldest team in the world.
The Classy ‘Mericans have won 13 league championships, more than any other football team. They have also won 4 Super Bowls. Their arch-rivals the Chicago Bears are second, with nine NFL championships (including one Super Bowl).
Furthmore, the team is known for having invaded and occupied over 15 different countries on four continents, curing cancer twice, causing four species of animals to go extinct, bringing three species of animals back from extinction, and ending the ice age.